Sunday, October 3, 2010

Lovely Ladies

There is a John Mayer song called, Heart of Life that came on my iPod today. There is a line in that song that just makes me want to tear up  every time I hear it because it is just so true of my life. It goes like this:

    Pain throws your heart to the ground
    Love turns the whole thing around
    No, it won't all go the way it should
    But I know the heart of life is good

    You know it's nothing new
    Bad news never had good timing
    Then the circle of your friends
    Will defend the silver lining

My girlfriends have truly “defended the silver lining” of my life in the last year. The women in my life are simply amazing. I am so amazed that I have been lucky enough to come across all these amazing women.

I am in awe of Bronwyn’s wisdom and ability to stay positive. I am in awe of Staci’s amazing sense of humor and her ability to give great advice (plus her awesome fashion sense). I am in awe of my mother’s strength and ability to give and give. I am in awe of Meredith’s bravery and her ability to make others feel loved and important. I am in awe of Mary Beth’s ability to tell those around her how much they mean to her (plus her ability to sing no matter what’s going on). I am in awe of Lisa’s intense loyalty to those important to her. I am in awe of Kate’s ability to truly listen to you when you speak and to make you feel like she’s feeling your pain with you. I am in awe of Lindsay’s generosity and her ability to make you feel like the funniest person alive by always laughing at your jokes. I am in awe at Tristan’s ability to tell you the hard truth when you need to hear it. I am in awe at Megan’s ability to make you feel truly important and cared for. I am in awe of Sarah’s ability to make friends with anyone within a 20 foot radius. I am in awe at Jenny’s quick sense of humor to make you laugh when you really need it. I am in awe at Brooke’s ability to sense when you simply need support and be there for you. I am in awe at Elizabeth’s ability to care so deeply about her friends.

I have great men in my life too, but I just don’t understand how women can go through life without close girlfriends. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you amazing women. There’s this quote from a Sex and the City episode where Charlotte is going through a divorce and she turns to her girlfriends and says something like, “maybe we are each others’ soul mates.” Thank you for being my soul mates ladies.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Pieces of a Broken Marriage

Yes, I know I haven't put anything on here in a very long time. I've been processing lots of stuff that I didn't have time to process during the school year because I was so busy. It has taken me a while to come up with anything I'd be willing to share on the internet :)

When a marriage ends, it's like a glass shattering. As cliche as it may be, you're left to pick up the pieces of this relationship that is now laying in shards at your feet . First, you pick up the larger pieces. You pack up all his possessions: the books, the clothes, the beer mugs. You divide up the dvd collection. You take down the photos hanging on the walls of happier times. You wash the sheets so they don't smell like his cologne. You  take off the wedding rings.

After you've picked up those large obvious pieces of glass, you sweep up the smaller pieces. You separate bank accounts. You call the cable company and try to explain without your voice cracking why you need the account switched to your name. You change his ringtone on your phone so a love song doesn't play every time he calls to talk about some piece of paper that needs to be signed.

Eventually, you meet other men. You go on other dates. You start to move on with your life. The pain starts to subside.You forget that there was once broken glass on that spot on the kitchen floor so you stop wearing shoes to protect yourself; you let your guard down. Then one day, it could be months and months later, your foot finds a tiny shard that's been left behind and there is pain again. It might be finding one of his t-shirts buried at the bottom of the hamper or getting a whiff of his cologne when a man walks by you in the mall or hearing the song you walked down the isle to at a friends wedding.

Finally, you're just left with the scars of the wounds the divorce left behind. The scars don't actively cause pain and eventually they start to fade, but every now and then something will inflame that scar. Something will cause you to remember the injury that caused the scar to begin with. It's frustrating. As much as you feel like you're healed, it's situations like this that remind you that someone else has permanetly left a negative mark on you that you are unlikely to ever completely forget.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I'm So Grateful!

I have amazing people in my life. Examples of these amazing people:

1. My friends planned a surprise dinner and then took me to a great Midlake concert for my birthday.
2. I've been sick. My mom has come to bring me food/medicine twice in the last week. One of my friends just called to see if I wanted her to bring me anything on the way home from work.
3. I have a friend who has been traveling around South America for months who took time out to call me and check in on me. I wasn't able to answer, but she said she's been reading my blog. Hi, Elizabeth!
4. I have lots of friends coming to help me paint rooms in my house next weekend to get it ready to put on the market. How great is that?

This is a picture of all of us at the Midlake Concert.

I've been doing a lot of work in my yard lately. I have to sell my house which makes me very sad. I love my house. I love the yard. I especially love that my dog loves the backyard. Sometimes it is very easy to let myself wallow in that sadness, instead of being excited to start over. So one of the ways that I try to stay excited about moving into an apartment is by looking at great ways to decorate my new place. My favorite place to go is It's great! You decorating types may enjoy exploring this website.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Confessions of the Sunflower Kid

I'm bored. My kids are taking a test. I have so much more I could be doing with my time, but instead I have decided to let you all get to know me a little better and so here are some ...

Confessions of the Sunflower Kid...

1. I like the smell of my dog's feet... they smell like popcorn and mown grass... does this make me weird?

2. I could eat zingers for breakfast everyday. For those of you unfortunate souls who have never experienced their glory, zingers are basically a twinky that has this totally artificially colored yellow icing on top.They are so gloriously bad for you.

3. I have seen Forest Gump and You've Got Mail more times than I would like to count. I just always have to watch them when they come on tv... it's like Tom Hanks takes control of my brain.

Ok... enough procrastinating... back to grading.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

New iPod, glass of champagne, and a movie

I've been trying very hard to keep myself busy on the weekend nights. Well, it just so happens that for the first time in months, I don't have plans on a Saturday night. I decided to make tonight a celebration of the fact that I'm okay with that. So here I am with my new iPod, a glass of champagne, and a movie.

Friday, March 19, 2010


I've been trying to reconnect with things that make me happy through this blog. One thing that I don't have to reconnect with, though, is music. I L-O-V-E my music collection. I have been lugging around my 2nd generation brick/dinosaur of an iPod for 5 years now. Yes, it was often the butt of jokes (especially by my students), but, hey, it worked. My iPod and I have been through quite a bit together: sprint triathalon training, graduate school study sessions, lots of party play lists, classroom setups and takedowns, lots of time reading on the beach. Well, last weekend it finally bit the dust.

RIP Old iPod
Hello New iPod Touch

I have a hard time spending large sums of money on myself, but I have decided that this is one area where I'm going to go all out and buy myself the top o' the line iPod touch because, well, I totally deserve it, and it's almost my birthday so yeah, happy birthday to me (a couple weeks early). Today, after work, I will be purchasing this:


Monday, March 15, 2010

Look what I got!

One of my lovely followers nomiated me for this sweet little award. That made my day!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I had a great surprise today... a group of my friends have been scheming behind my back for my birthday. I love how people come out of the woodwork to support you when you need it. So I have been told to keep my birthday night open for these secret plans.

Other happenings:
1. The first daffodils have started blooming in my yard. Yea for spring!

2. A student drew this on a quiz this week... You may be asking yourself, "is that a six-legged octopus wearing a robinhood hat and glasses?" Why, yes, yes I think it is. Perhaps the better question is, what happened to its other legs? Tragic octopus table saw accident? Octopus birth defect? Maybe he gave them to the poor octopuses in the Sherwood Forest? And yes, that is the plural of octopus; I just googled it.

3. Two of my best teacher friends who thought they were not coming back next year have since changed their minds ... I'm so excited to get to teach with them both another year. This makes me more optimistic about my next year.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

New Perspectives

Sometimes when it feels like the life you thought you knew is crumbling down around you, shift your perspective.

Maybe it's crumbling down to give you an escape route.

I know this is true of my life... but sometimes it's hard to appreciate it when the escape can be so painful.

A confession: I have frequently been accused of being pessimistic; I always thought that I was just being realistic. A very good friend told me last night that she thought the whole divorce situation had made me a more optimistic person. I respectfully disagreed with her, thinking about how cynical I feel like I've become, but maybe she was right.... maybe it's too recent to see what kind of changes this will bring to me as a person. I'll let you know...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Jewelry Tree Craftiness

Look at what I made today! I cut a tree branch from my yard, spray painted it black, set it in some plaster of paris, let the plaster dry, and then I used some river rocks to cover up the plaster. Total cost = less than $20. Now I can actually see what earrings I have! Sadly, this is only about 1/4 of my earring collection.

Helpful hint: Apparently plaster of paris gets very very hot. Therefore, my porcelain container cracked on the corners but it's still holding together for now. The besty saw it last night and requested one for her upcoming birthday. I think I'll put less plaster in the container this time and see if it doesn't crack.

There will be no picture posted with this... you'll see why in a minute

Student: So is that like, this one time when I sat on an iron? And...(interrupted by me)

Me: Ok, stop right there. You sat on an iron?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Was it on?

Student: Yes, someone left it on the couch.

Me: Why would someone leave a hot iron on a couch?

Student: I don't really know.

Me: Did you never think to find out?

Student: No...?

Me: So wait, do you have a scar in the shape of an iron on your butt?

Student: Yes

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Awesomeness of Today...

Reason #1 today was awesome: My story, "Courage Brought to you by a 15 Year Old," was posted on Kind Over Matter as one of the Friday Lovelies! Wahhhoooo! Amanda said my story, "melted her heart."

Reason #2 today was awesome: I purchased the tickets for the Phoenix show I posted about earlier this week AND I realized it is the last day of school. What a great way to celebrate the end of year two.

Reason #3 today was awesome: The Red Hot Chili Peppers was the class change music today. Yes, we actually blast music in the halls over the speaker system while the kids change classes. They abhore the classical music during the week, but on Fridays, the kids and teachers get to submit their own mixes. Fridays rock!!!... literally at my school.

Reason # 4 today was awesome: I'm going to dinner with Momma Sunflower and her besty, Bev, at a new Chinese place.... yum.

Reason # 5 today was awesome: I had my first comment on my blog AND my first two followers who don't know me already and have to follow me b/c they're my friend... not to discount how awesome you are for following me,  Lindsay.

Reason #6 today was awesome: I'm reconnecting with an old friend from high school tomorrow who I haven't seen in years. Ok, I guess that may be a reason why tomorrow is awesome... but the anticipation makes today awesome.

It's all enough to make me do this.... ok, ok, you got me... so this is actually an old picture of me getting a strike at a bowling alley, but I could totallllllly look like that right now... minus the bowling alley part and the spiffy white bowling shoes.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Perfect Man

Being newly single,  you spend a lot of time dreaming up your perfect man... here's what I have so far...

The Mind of:
(John Stewart... drool)

The Voice of:
(Kings of Leon Lead Singer)

The Ravishing Good Looks of:
(Jake Gyllenhaal... yum)

Can we work on that? Anybody know someone who resembles this description?

Student Doodles

This was doodled on one of the quizzes turned in today... I teach psychology if that explains anything... maybe not...

If only blogs could wear necklaces...

Necklace from Charms4you on etsy.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Someone Needs an Attitude Adjustment...

Last night I got an email that one of the bands I am currently obsessed with, Phoenix, is coming to a town near me. Going through this whole divorce thing, my initial thought was, "I have no one to go with." I do have some single lady friends but none of them are into this band. My brother and his wife would potentially go except, they will have a week old baby boy at that point so that was a no. I had kinda resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be going. Then I decided that this was no way to meet my goals that I outlined in this very blog. So here's what I did in my facebook status: "ATTENTION: Is anyone going to see Phoenix? If so, I may want to tag along... someone please say yes..." And within minutes, I have a show buddy to go with AND a free place to stay that night. This whole single thing is gonna take an attitude adjustment.

COURAGE brought to you by a 15 year old girl... Alternate Title:Courage for Beginning Teachers

I'm a second year high school teacher. It is interesting to watch people's reactions when I tell them this for the first time. They often look at me like I've just demonstrated human flight. The reaction is a mixture of shock, disbelief, and I hope, a little admiration. Sometimes there's a little disgust or pity thrown in there, but we'll just ignore those people.

I am the first to admit that my job is by no means easy, but sometimes I get to the end of my day and think, "I love my job." Don't get me wrong... there are often days when I have the opposite reaction, and these days probably come about more often than I would like. Sometimes personal situations, parents, students, and administrators converge to make you question your career choice. This is when a teacher's courage is tested. It takes gutts to keep going. For the most part, I really enjoy the students, and sometimes they just make your day. Sometimes they give you the push that you needed to keep going. Sometimes they give you courage when you thought it was all spent up. Below is a case in point...

As a high school teacher, you don't get lots of holiday gifts. Elementary school teachers just rake in the swag. Not so much with high school teachers. I teach 130 kids, and I received three gifts and two cards this year. Now I don't want this to sound like I'm not grateful...I am! I don't expect to get gifts at all which is why when I opened this card, I shed a few tears of gratitude. This particular student knew that my husband had left in November. I told very few students, but she had picked up on a weird vibe and asked me if I was ok. I told her a very very very edited version of my personal situation. She listened and told me that she was very sorry that I was going through this. We didn't discuss it again. Then the day before Christmas break, this card was waiting for me on my computer key board. When teaching gets hard, when life gets hard, it is things like this that give you the courage to keep going.

My advice to beginning teachers... make sure you look for these moments in every single day and soak up all the courage you can get from them... soak it up and put it in the bank for a rainy day. Or take a picture of it and post it on your blog for eternity :)

Things that make me smile

This is by far my favorite commercial on tv right now. It just makes me smile... especially the part where the sock money gets a tattoo... genius. How can you not smile? And the music choice is just perfect!   
Watch it here!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Introduction to my blog

Things I have committed myself to:
1. I will live a happy life.
2. I will reconnect/discover things in my life that I love.
3. I will be courageous

So what does that mean? I'm not entirely sure. So that's what I'll be exploring here. Here's what I think I know so far:
1. Happiness and gratefulness go hand in hand.
2. Courage isn't just charging into battle with your sword drawn. Sometimes courage is simply being willing to accept that your life can be different from the one you had planned. Courage is rolling with the changes (subtle REO Speedwagon reference here) and continuing to find things to be grateful for.
3. I love Butterfingers, crafts, music, gummy candy of all sorts, home decor, and my spaz of a dog. I especially like to watch her romp in the snow.  The picture below is a great example of the sweet puppy dog eyes she often flashes to get her way. How can you resist?